A glorious sunrise, but my growing anxiety that I am still in Johannesburg because I missed my flight yesterday is weighing heavily on me. The extra cost of another ticket is only the smallest part of that concern – my being in the wrong place at the right time to be somewhere else is ruining the glory of the sunrise, the peace of the moment. I suddenly remember a million different things I could be working on. It is far from fun. And then the insecurities rise up to overwhelm me…I want to get lost in a haze of nothingness – it grips my throat, weighs heavy on my shoulders. But just dealing with this – which is the right way to go about it – doesn’t seem to still the anxiety. AAAAARGH! I cannot let this ruin my day, mood, week, temperament, progress…God, am I THAT melodramatic?
Deal with it.
Like I am dealing with the situation.
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