|“…I remember you…”|
Sunday. Traditionally the day I have hated for a long time. Ever since I was a child. I remember those days… and I remember…I remember that today is the Day of Remembrance. All those who have fallen in the great wars.
There is another great war, at play, within ourselves, all of us recovering addicts, and those still suffering the addiction. So, in a quiet moment of reflection in the bath, I remember those who lost their lives drugs.
Matthew. Heart failure on the beach.
Bradley. Car accident on the way home.
There are more, but I cannot remember their names. How is it that people who shared such profound thoughts and experiences while we were wasted on drugs are now just shifting shadows in the lost memories? I have lived a life full of experience and emotion and feelings and thoughts and to think that I may just be the shifting, forgotten noise in someone’s pile of regrets… hurts.
So, Bradley and Matthew and Gareth and Johan and Lindon – if no one else does, I will remember you, here. You were so much more than an epitaph, and yet, for some who read this, that’s all you’ll ever be. I will remember the jokes, and the singing, and the laughter, and the moments when we could just sit quietly, in the fug, and share a moment when the music was just right, and the world was shut out. I remember your eyes, and I remember your smiles and I remember that you were people who had emotions, who laughed, and who cried, and who felt pain, and who mattered, and it’s important to record these, because otherwise the drugs win, and your lives didn’t matter.
They DID matter, to me, and to everyone who loved you. I am sorry, that you paid the price, and that your families paid the price.
I am not sorry I shared some of my life with you.
You are all missed. You are all loved.
© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.