When I am stressed, or tired, or alone for prolonged periods, they come. When it is late, and when it is quiet, they come. When I am angry or uncertain, they come, then, too.
You don’t walk away from 18 years of drug addiction without damage. Damage quite apart from the friendships ruined, the relationships ended…there is damage you take away with you, in your soul. And in your mind…
It’s quite easy to heal the damage in your soul. Progression and making amends, and forgiving yourself, and understanding that that is the only forgiveness you need, though the amends are to everybody – this is how your soul heals, learns and grows.
The damage to your mind is a little harder to overcome. Some days I wish the voices were real, but they’re not. They’re all me, part of me, inside me. I have to learn to make peace with them, make friends with them – they are the unholy children of my 18 years of marriage to the chemicals. It is up to me to make them my allies, and not my enemies.
After all, they’re not just for Christmas, they’re for life.
© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.