Day #217 – The Break I Know Must Come…

Fence-sitting... indecision: habit of a former life.
Fence-sitting… indecision: habit of a former life.

Saturday

2012/11/17

I have isolated myself, because I can’t handle the turbulent feelings inside. This is wrong, because the isolation leads to selfish thoughts, with apathy towards the impact my isolation has on others around me.

I have isolated myself because I cannot reconcile my new life, with the reappearance of Cris and his wife. Even though his wife has removed herself again, because I am speaking to Cris, I have so many questions, so much to say, because the words that came through seemed so insincere. Words and actions didn’t add up.

I have isolated myself because the new me has not made space for Cris. Cris threw me out in January, and said in March he never wants to see me again. Then the phone call and the charm and the laughter as if nothing had happened in between.

I have isolated myself, and my journey is slowing, and it’s about to go into reverse. I need to change something. I have been sitting on the fence between my old life and my new one, for too many weeks now.

© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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