Day #237 – Deja Vu All Over Again

Ruby was cowering all alone, under the tree, as I left the office, the last one to do so on a difficult day.
Ruby was cowering all alone, under the tree, as I left the office, the last one to do so on a difficult day.

Friday

2012/12/07

There was a big announcement at the office today. Suddenly, it’s 2009 all over again. A highly emotional day. So many insecurities bristle. So much raw emotion surfaces, yet…no instinctive desire to rush out and get wasted, killing all emotion in a miasma of chemicals.

In 2012, I am not immune because of my earlier experiences with the corporate game, to the human emotion that has overwhelmed so many people around me today. I feel it – I feel their pain and I empathise with their anger, their shock, their fear. But I also know that at the top of the pile, is a group of people who hardly anyone ever thinks about, in terms of the human factor. Look, I can’t say much more here, it’s not right to do so – but here are my thoughts: life has seen fit to take me in a loop, right back to where I faced this identical situation three and half years ago – but this time, I am doing right by life, and doing right by myself. If there is an emotion to be felt, I will feel it; if there is a fear to be faced, I will face it, and if there are questions to be asked, I will ask them. And then I will respond like I should have, all those years ago, and I will be free from this cycle. It’s not often you get a chance to correct past mistakes so soon in life, so despite my own fears, insecurities and questions, I am grateful to be able to navigate these waters now, so I can come out the other side, knowing I gave it my best shot.

Still, it was a very lonely walk to my car, all on its own, in the parking lot.

© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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