Day #249 – Trust

Nights with Dixie, proving 'trust'.
Nights with Dixie, proving ‘trust’.

Wednesday
2012/12/19

My sponsor is away, and needed someone to look after her dogs. We haven’t known each other very long, but through our shared stories, and through her help and guidance I am progressing in my healing. She trusts me enough to let me stay at her house, and look after her dogs. She trusts me, when she more than most, will understand the risk that involves, leaving a junkie who sold all his possessions to get that next hit, a junkie who stole money and lied, to fuel his addiction – in her home, looking after her prized pets.

It is not me doing her a favour; it is her rewarding me with that thing I had thrown away: trust.

I spend the days and nights with the animals, contemplating this very big thing she has done, wondering if I would be able to do the same, when I become a sponsor.

I wonder how you repay this gift, but of course I know that answer – the trust has not been given in advance, for my earning of it – something in our shared journey, that I have said, and then done (for words are meaningless without action) has shown her that I can be trusted, and she had taken that huge leap of faith to show me, that I am deserving of her trust.

I will not let her down, nor myself: I will show these dogs the care and love they know already from her, and I will show her the trust is not misplaced.

© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.

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2 thoughts on “Day #249 – Trust

    1. In my journey to self-destruction, trust, reputation and (self) respect were the first things I destroyed, so quickly, and so easily, I felt they could have no value, if they were so fragile. Even in my heady days of drugged-out madness, I knew if ever I turned the corner and tried to heal, that these three would be the most hard-won rewards of all, so the fact my sponsor entrusted me this task so soon in my healing is a massive milestone for me, and it gives me hope that soon I can start working on making all three traits part of who I was always meant to be. Thanks for the words!

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