I Am Social Media, Therefore I Am

(with apologies to God, who did a pretty epic job with Creation)

He left the featureless building and turned in a direction that meant nothing, and started moving towards another featureless building at the end of a smooth, black pathway that defied description (well, it defied any description beyond “smooth” and “black”). No thoughts, no bias, and no emotion inhabited this featureless, nameless being as the black pathway passed beneath his (her?) feet. He/she had no name. No sun shone down from the sky to warm his/her skin, yet it was not night. It was…nothing.

At some point, along that black, featureless pathway, First Thought transpired, and it was this: SHARE!

This single word seared into his/her brain, and coursed through virgin neural pathways, awakening senses as yet unused. He opened his already open but as yet unseeing eyes, and saw before him (for this awakening had assured him that he was, in fact, male) a smooth, featureless pathway…which, as First Perception fell upon it as a possible subject for First Thought, started to wind, and twist, and ripple. Ripples solidified into texture, and the winding and twisting became Direction; and ‘From’ and ‘To’ were born.

He stood on what was now clearly a black, tarred road, feeling its rough top, seeing the glint of First Sun above shine off its  gravelly edges and felt in his hand First Mobile, which was an extension of God, and was the tool with which First Thought would become reality.

He stared at First Mobile for a long time, gauging the power of this miraculous and beautiful tool, and wondered at the beneficence and grace of God, for giving it to him. He fell to his knees, held up his hands, holding First Mobile, and took First Picture, of the black and twisting road surface, of its texture and of the perspective it showed disappearing into the distance, and it was good.

First Thought trembled in his mind, and the Power swept over him, and First Mobile bore the command ‘SHARE’ beneath First Picture, and it was great.

He – for as yet he lacked a name – hit the SHARE button and all at once, all God’s provinces came into being; the wonder of Facebook, the glory of Twitter, the astounding Instagram, the awesome Pinterest, and so on, all myriad of Social Media coalescing into Reality. First Picture was Shared across all Social Media, and so was born his name, which was Avatar, and defined him, and became him, and was him, more real than that first featureless being who stepped out of that first featureless house and finding that first thing to take pictures of, and to Share.

And God said “There is but One Commandment, which is born from First Thought, and that is “Thou Shalt Share” and you are to Share with all the world all the things I will create, and which will become real ONLY when you Share these pictures as you take them, on Social Media. Do not dwell on the things that you do not take pictures of, nor of the people who you may meet who do not want you to take pictures of them, for I say unto you, If It Is Not Shared On Social Media, It Does Not Exist, and that is the First Rule of Reality.”

And the man knew that he did not exist, before that instant when he hit the SHARE button, for it was sharing that made him real, and sharing that defined his existence, and his experience of reality, and his interaction with others, who would be born, as he was, when first they SHARED pictures, thoughts, opinions, events and Other Really Amazing Things To Know, on Social Media.
And soon the world came to tell the story like this:

“At first, there was nothing. Which exploded, and all the peoples of the universe came into being, by sharing their pictures, stories and opinions of The Big Bang, on Social Media. And it was good…”

If it's not here, it's not real.
If it’s not here, it’s not real.

© Dave Luis 2012. All Rights Reserved.


  1. haha, schweetness I like this peice must admit I was at first like what is Dave on? Painkiller? nooo he dont’ do that, high on boredom… 😛 lol possibly… I tease 😛

    But it’s soo true hey, we have become a society of sharing eveything with our friends. These social media are like the first place people go for information. And whenever we are out, people are all about the social media, tagging themselves with FourSquare. Friends gotta know where you are the mo and all that. And if you didn’t share pics or your location on any SM you seriously werent there. haha … it’s crazy. Although James hates it, his theorem is somebody people will know we aint home and we’ll come home to an empty place. Because the crooks knows we aint home 😛 lol.

    Surprisingly I was thinking about this on Saturday night/ Sunday morning. There I was in a club chilling away on the couch with drink in hand. Looking down on the crowd in the non-VIP section and they were in a club chatting on BBM. I’m like whuuut…. You come all the way to see top DJs play for you and you come sit in a club to chat with friends. Sure I tagged myself in the club on Foursquare which linked to facebook but i wasn’t chatting away….. Then people started recording the DJ, not dancing just standing there phones out recording the event for probably youtube or facebook. SHARING the experience. It has really become the buzz acitivity for everything.

    And I for one couldn’t have said it better, nicely done Dave. The SM book for creation. Had me giggling all the way through!

    Must say I’m guilty of this too, sharing is caring after all 😛

    1. Did you know that there is a rumour some insurance companies watch your FB activity, and if you are robbed while out, and having announced it to the world, they won’t pay. Don’t know how true it is though.
      Social media is the new mass religion, the new God. Social media dictates what is real, and what is important.

      1. Why The Face… wonder now myself. Thats just a lot creey. Yip I was just telling James now. We no longer live for ourselves, so instead of enjoying the event or the place or engaging with our surrounding we choice to live for our Facebook or YouTube friends. How much sharing is too much, when does living start if you constantly sharing and on you first mobile 😛

  2. We should totally have an ‘UNREAL EVENT’ – invitation by word of mouth only, no mobiles allowed, nor any reviews on social media, and we shall call it “Life – The Origin’!

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