I haven’t posted anything to ‘healing.me’ for a while now, the ‘CleanDaze’ blog has almost end usurped the role it fills. So where are we, in the process?
The start of a new year, and I’m two thirds of a year clean, and into my new life. The past nine months have been amazing and terrifying and awesome and awful and exciting and boring…All the elements that make up life, I s’pose.
January always feels slow to me, always has, like reality is still trying to define itself after a particularly heavy party, in December. That’s often not wrong.
So, the slow stillness of January makes it feel like I’ve lost momentum, and focus, and that makes me despair. Feels like I’m waiting for something…the inspiring words that will fire up my soul into some amazing cause…Or else, a kick in the teeth.
I hate waiting. Feels like I spend my whole life waiting, for drug dealers, for payday, for the milestones, for encouragement, for ridicule, for Whatever’s Next.
I’m writing this, writing these words, though I know the solution is not in the words, it’s in the action. No one’s going to do this for me, going to spur me on, to get me to the next milestone or hand me that next achievement, except me. The guy in the mirror.
I’m the one who must complete step four, and move on to step five.
I’m the one who must start writing the essays, and the book, and I’m the one who must finish them.
I’m the one who must write the script, and rally the troops.
I’m the one who must create the vision board.
I’m the one who must initiate the social media drug advice group.
I’m the one to buy the books, to do the research.
I’m the one who must stop wasting time, and do these things. I – Dave Luis – must stop living in my head, and in my heart and start living in the real world.
It’s just easier to sit and write about what I should do, rather than to actually DO it.
Yeah. Much easier.
I’m the one who should, but I don’t.
And that’ll be the reason I fail. Words, without actions. Observations, without interactions. Life, but without vitality.
It stops here.
© Dave Luis 2013. All Rights Reserved.