Day #265 – Reason For Being (Here)

Work's 'Confessor' meeting room, where I reclaimed some self-confidence...
Work’s ‘Confessor’ meeting room, where I reclaimed some self-confidence…

Friday

2013/01/04

I often wonder why the incredible thing that is the human mind developed afflictions like the insecurities that cripple us at various points in our lives. Recently we went through a major restructure at the office, and my old insecurity that I’d been hired because of WHO I know and not WHAT I know surfaced, and though I survived the chop (knock on wood for future chops!) I couldn’t dispel this disquiet within me – to the point where in late December, I actually turned to my boss and said “Why am I still here? What is it you think I do so well?” I hoped I had said it without challenging her, subconsciously affirming my uselessness. My insecurity had been heightened by a couple of meetings about strategy and communications where I just sat there, unable to contribute, as things were flying at a dizzying rate, and unlike the rest of the attendees, I didn’t have the benefit of having been at the top-level flight plan sessions, the previous weeks. I felt out of my depth.

“You’re great at communications.” my boss placated me, but I wasn’t convinced – and I hated myself for feeling so insecure, and incapable.

Today, I dispelled those fears, at least for myself (which is a great start!) in a social media strategy session with my colleague, for the year ahead.

It rocked, that my understanding of the in-depth analysis matched hers; matched the company strategy.

My intimate knowledge of the three key aspects of the company’s social media activity over the past year came to bear, and I could – with confidence – discuss what worked in the past, and why it would need to change, for the future.

I strode out of that meeting, swelled with pride, that my notes and ideas had not only made sense to my colleague, Maru, but had also been made to fit our total strategy for the company and the brand so neatly, so easily.

Not only did I feel that I was working with a competent, relevant team, but I also felt confident, capable, and a valuable member of that team.

These are powerful foundations, on which to build a successful year, both professionally, and personally. As long as I remember to keep the humility at the forefront, of course…

© Dave Luis 2013. All Rights Reserved.

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2 thoughts on “Day #265 – Reason For Being (Here)

  1. Can muchly relate to this and I have to say it soons doing to actually ask the question. Not that I would think you somebody who wouldnt but for most it would have been better to keep the head low – outta chopping range. Accepting that fates had dealt a kind hand. In recall feeling much the same and having seen people who had years on me not so much in terms of actual age but more experience – work and life wise these doubts surfaced for me too. I recall too telling AKC my biggest fear was being incapable of not reaching my full potential ever in life. As I approach this year next week I hope to also be so awesome 😛 hehe… To show worth and just not worth but worth of value.

    The greatest teacher is experience and we only gain experience by putting ourselves out there. Then only will the reasons and the whys that others see become apparent!

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