I’m housesitting, in Paarl. A nice big house, a fully-stocked kitchen and a cool, clean and hugely inviting pool to break the heat are mine to enjoy for 36 hours – but instead, I allow myself to wallow in a morose distemper, bemoaning my solitude.
Instead, I should be grateful to have these luxuries to myself, to enjoy – especially since I have been moaning about my January blues. It’s a natural human condition to only see the cloud, rather than the silver lining, isn’t it? Or have I just allowed myself to only that in the people around me? My mother used to moan about everything; every story I shared was met with a cynical comeback, a denial of anything good in the story. Cris’ brother was exactly the same. It could become to tiring, dealing with this temperament in them, both. And now, I find myself doing the same thing.
There’s also the danger, though, that if I constantly just highlight the silver lining, that people will think I am detached from reality. There are already opinions thrown my way that I hate conflict and only chose to see what I want to see. That’s true, to a degree, but at the moment, I am only focusing on the negative.
I need to change this, but it’s late at night as I write this, and I am lethargic, in motivation and in energy. There’s nothing I choose to do about this now.
© Dave Luis 2013. All Rights Reserved.
(image © glowellness.wordpress.com)