When Did We Get So Old…?

I’m scrolling through Facebook, catching up on what people got up to while I was at work. 

A photo of three men rolls up the screen. I don’t recognize any of them. 

I scroll back and look closer. Nope. Zero recognition. Two chaps who I gauge as being my age or perhaps a year or two younger. And an old fogey.

I read the names. Two unknowns. And M, who was at highschool with me. I definitely don’t recognize the younger men in the pic…but surely that old fogey’s not M, is it…?

I hit the tag button and confirm my shock. That old man – that wrinkly, balding old man in sensible clothes and respectable spectacles…is M! What the hell?!?

How the hell did this happen? This not the ravages of a wild youth. This is just the passage of time! I saw it when G posted his travel album recently – but I chalked the marked decay up to the freezing mountain air.

I see the cruel ruin and sag and erosion wearing away at my handsome, beautiful peers who shared my school years, though never so clearly as tonight, seeing M, unrecognisable under the weight of middle age. 

But I don’t look like this, surely? Like an old man, old enough to be …what? A parent? My parent? An old, domesticated fogey, lounging in his comfortable lounge in his comfortable lounger pullover and comfortable specs. 

The mirror lies to me again, telling me I’m still a spritely youth that needs a minor tone up here and there, a little bit of cardio to keep me in shape, like when I represented South Africa at the African Fencing Championships NINETEEN years ago…Christ! Has it been that long? 

I look in the mirror again. The decrepit truth leers out at me: receding hair…sagging eye bags, wrinkles and grey sprinkling my beard.

I’m old. I’m old and overweight and unfit. 

This is not what I signed up for! This is NOT how it was meant to be!

I’m not old. I’m not old. How can I be…? I don’t even know what I want to be…

…when I grow up.

© Dave Luis 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Advertisements

9 Comments

  1. Whenever I see one of my peers (who looks like I should be calling aunt or uncle) I always go sit in front of the mirror for an eternity and wonder what I look like to them. Thirty odd is not old but they reaffirm what my younger self believed that 30+ yo people to fit in right along with antiques.

    Ssshhhh… Don’t tell them I said so.

  2. I realised today how epicly bad my forehead wrinkles are. It’s like the years have written their stories on my face 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s