It’s everybody’s favourite catch phrase from Pitch Perfect, but some days, ‘make good choices’ is a lifeline.
Today was one of those days. Today was a day where my temper threatened to overwhelm and consume me.
So I made a good choice.
I cleared out of the maelstrom. I walked away. Seething, boiling and on the brink of exploding.
But walking away only delayed what I knew would come. That flood of confusion at all this…emotion. I detest it. Ironic, no? I have a strong emotion about strong emotions.
Have you seen Equilibrium? The 2002 film, in which Christian Bale lives in a world where emotion is outlawed. Emotion is kept out of the human population with a daily dose of strong medication. A lot like my old life: have a feeling, apply cocaine. Feeling gone.
So today I knew that that default reaction would rise up in me again as the rush of anger drowned all my other senses. And it did, in a big way.
So I made a good choice. Again.
I acknowledged the monster, and disarmed it. I faced it down by admitting it was there, and KNOWING why it was there, and knowing HOW I was going to get through it. Just one second at a time.
Then a minute.
Followed by an hour. And another. And another…
At the end of three hours, I was clear. Calm. And had produced a load of work for tomorrow. Which should take the edge off tomorrow, a little.
Today marks 39 months’ clean and mostly serene living.
© Dave Luis 2015. All Rights Reserved.