Another day where for the most part food was a side issue; not a focal point. 

Tonight was another story. Our final cooking class of the year, and I decided not to overindulge as I normally do at these classes. 

For three of the four courses, I maintained well. Small portions. No second helpings. Dessert was a bit of a failure. Definitely going to have apply myself to the discipline of dessert a lot stronger.

But that’s all good. There’s no guilt tonight. While it was a social event, by its very nature it was a celebration of the food, and it’s ok at times like these to focus on the food: the aromas, textures, fusions, rich and heady seduction masquerading as mere food. 

This got me thinking. And it underlines one of the as-yet unspoken rules of my food journey: the idolization of food. Holding it up to a more than God-like status. 

I take photos of my meals and apply lighting and filters and publish the pictures across all my social platforms. I talk about meals with such euphoric recall there is no difference between these retellings and the mad stories of drug binges of years ago. 

I worship food. I idolise it. And that makes it a near-constant focus which in turn makes it difficult to take control. 

So then. Discipline. No more photos. No more social media posts of my lavish meals. No more lavish meals. No more food worship, digitally or otherwise. Food is just not that important.

Not anymore. 

© Dave Luis 2015. All Rights Reserved. 


7 thoughts on “Day 6: Idolisation

  1. I’m happy for you! you found your courage and what makes you tick. Sounds like a job well done to me! 🙂

  2. Such amazing insight into your compulsions. I don’t think its discipline that you need. By disciplining yourself it a negative conditioning & we tend to rebel and in a moment of self hatred we say ‘WTF!’ & give up.
    In this journey of self actualization, you need to LOVE yourself through the changes. Your mantra during the day should be ‘ I LOVE and accept myself, I am a unique soul who is precious and beautiful’. 🙂

    1. It’s funny though – I agree with you, but I definitely respond better to the sense of discipline than of love – that is another whole separate journey in my recovery, the concept of self-worth and love.
      Though I do respond to external positive reinforcement far better than the negative conditioning, when it comes to my inner dialogue, it’s completely the reverse. 🙂 My therapist has some work to do!

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