Morning, Gory

I fully expected that my return to blogging would not be a ray of sunshine, and reading the last five days’ posts, they are dark and whiny. A lot like me at the moment. 

So I thought this morning that maybe instead of writing a post at the end of the day when the Machine of Emotions has put me through the ringer, I would start the day off with a post, because then I would be writing with a sense of hope, before life happened to me. 

I *could* sit here and write little hopeful affirmations and aims and goals, but really, I just want to get through the day and climb back under my duvet. 

I used to like those little motivational messages, the Louise Hay daily affirmations, the memes that seemed to just get me, the gratitude lists and the drive to be nice, kind and loving. Can’t think of anything more vomit-inducing and fake right now. God, I sound like some goth emo kid from the ’90s.

Can’t wait for this phase of the process to just be over and done with. I know I have to go through it, and process and all that crap, but hell, I am not liking it right now. My patience with this process is nowhere. 

Really, all I want to do is sleep until Friday, when Sarah arrives for a visit. 

Finally, something to look forward to. 

I’ll take it. 

© Dave Luis 2018. All Rights Reserved. 
Image by Elizabeth Lies at Unsplash Free Images


    1. I call that state ‘alternity’ – when we wish our lives away. I used to justify my living in the moment by saying that I didn’t want to live in alternity. It’s a longer discussion, too facile to touch on in a comment thread, but yes.

  1. I would like to share this with a young person in my life who is currently recovering from addiction, and the psychotic side effect… he is bored with “the process” of getting better.. he may benefit from knowing he is not unique…

  2. Please do! I honestly believe that the boredom and complacency is the real risk of relapsing. I have gone back to Narcotics Anonymous meetings as a result of my own complacency threatening to unravel everything I have worked for.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.