Bless You, Don’t Worry

Gone 31 years today and to be honest this day feels just like any other. So that’s good, right? I don’t relive the horror of the morning you died and our world ended.

That’s dramatic. Our world didn’t end, I just thought it did because I thought you were my world.

Dad, sometimes you feel like a distant memory. I can’t remember you. I can’t feel you in my heart.

And then I have moments where I close my eyes and I am that little three-year-old boy resting his head in your lap as you read Rudyard Kipling’s Just So Stories to me. Old Spice clings to you like I wish I still could.

Why did you leave? I don’t understand the lesson I’m s’posed to learn from your death. It feels like one hell of a lesson to have asked a boy of 13 to learn.

I’m 44 now, and I still think growing up without you is a shit deal, Dad. What is our soul contract? What did we decide before we came to this life, that was best served by you being ripped away from me in the middle of the night? I think we got it wrong, whatever that was. I know we got wrong.

Will you come back now, please, Dad? I really need you.

Dad…? Are you there?

Dad?

©️ Dave Luis 2018. All Rights Reserved.

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